'AITA for not caring when my dad's affair partner said she needs all my dad's money? Then don't date a married person!' (2024)

So, when dad pleaded with me to give him a chance to show he could still be a good dad and said he would do anything for me, I told him to keep supporting my mom and make sure she wasn't going to end up struggling while he got off easy. I told him she deserved that at least, after what he did, and that I deserved to see my mom doing well.

My dad agreed, and he paid it as child support instead of spousal support or whatever it's called. It really helped mom, and she actually went back to school so she could get a better job. Dad is still paying that money.

He knows I appreciate him doing it, and he also knows it's one of the only reasons I didn't just decide to say, "f%@k him," and never want a relationship again. My mom is also less stressed. She has mixed feelings about my dad giving her money when legally he doesn't need to, but she also knows this is the only way for me not to feel the need to help support her.

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Where my dad's wife comes into it is this: she never liked that my dad paid this "child support." She never liked that I insisted on it for my dad and me to have a relationship. But now, my dad's house is struggling a bit, and some changes needed to be made. His wife's son and daughter were in dance, football, softball, karate, music lessons, and an art class as paid extracurriculars.

My dad and his wife also have a baby together. The wife's kids had to cut two activities because they can't afford it anymore. It pisses his wife off because if dad wasn't paying the money, they could still afford those things.

She told me I should stop obligating my dad to support my mom because they need it more, and my mom isn't their problem. I told her she and her kids are not my problem. She told me they're my family while my mom is not her or her kids' family or my dad's anymore.

I told her she and her kids are dad's family, but not mine. She told me they need all of dad's money right now before more things need to be cut back on. I shrugged in response. She told me I was so callously flippant, and it wasn't a good look to care so little about my siblings' lives (only one of her kids, the baby, is technically my half-sibling). AITA?

Here are the top comments:

FantasticCabinet2623 writes:

NTA. The f^#k did she expect, sleeping with a married man? She can get a second job if money is a problem.

OP responded:

She expected it to be like a lot of times where that happens when the man just doesn't give a f%@k about the hurt he caused and does no damage control and takes care of her and her people instead. She didn't expect dad to be so bothered by me losing respect for him with his affair and leaving mom like he did.

Tight-Shift5706 asks:

OP, is step mother employed?

OP responded:

Yes, but not full time or even really part time. She works a little to get money for hobbies and nothing else. I think it's probably more to get out of the house. She had a full time job before she and my dad made things official.

zlittle16 says:

Absolutely NTA. Dad didn't have to agree to pay your mom to buy your acceptance and step mom should have spoke up then if it was a problem. She probably did but didn't push it so dad's conscience could be eased. Step mom is paying the price for cheating with a married man and dad is suffering for his part too. Karma is a b%^*h.

What do you think?